LISTEN TO ARTICLESynthesized Narration • 0:00 / 0:00

"Good day. We regret to inform you that..." In my daydreams, I already imagined strolling along the halls of my dream college. Feeling so fulfilled and energized, studying in the course I've always dreamed of, surrounded by peers with the same hopes and dreams as me. Pursuing the path I've always wanted. But even just a few words were enough to stab me in the heart—to wake me up, to gently get me to swallow the hard pill of truth. I couldn't believe it at first. I gave my everything, didn't I? Despite those voices telling me I dream too big, that I should've settled for the more realistic path. Despite our pockets emptied out just so I could afford every expense necessary. Despite the times I was underestimated, struggling, barely living even, but in silence, I kept on trying. Studying as much as I can just to get past the entrance to my dreams. Even when the weight of my world—my family, friends, teachers who believed in me—felt so heavy, I carried it like my life was on the line until the end. Yet, it wasn't enough. Was I really enough? When will I ever be? Just a few decimals more, or I could've chosen the more correct answers my gut told me. What if I gave more effort? Or if only we had the price to pay for any dream to come true, I could be anywhere instead of hoping for my only closed doors to open. If only— Go on. Haunt me. This multo that will never leave no matter where I go— The neverending what-ifs stare at me, while I choke on reality being shoved down on me. That while other paths may lie ahead, it would be fate that chose them instead of me. That I could only wait for a miracle, from a system that never has enough space for everyone. I let out a half hearted laugh. So this is it, farewell? Or maybe not. For wherever else I'll end up, you'll find a funeral in me. Maybe in others too, where our abandoned dreams forever rest in peace. You'll find me muttering to myself, over and over—like a ghost that never rests. "What if... If only... Why?”