LISTEN TO ARTICLESynthesized Narration • 0:00 / 0:00

“I Hope Our Distance Grants You Peace” Just like what the title said—I hope that the void between us grants you peace that you have longed for, even if it means severing this friendship of ours. I cried more than I intended to, I don't know if you did too. Which was crazy because back then, I thought we had all the time in the world. I thought we’d grow up and maybe sip coffee on your balcony as adults. How come you're a stranger when we talked about moving away from this country yesterday? I still vividly remember how we met. My stone-face met your radiant personality, it's ironic really, how come can two polar opposites become friends after all? I avoided you like the plague, yet, with warm hands and a captivating smile, you thawed my heart little by little… until I believed that I was deserving of a friend, a genuine connection built on nothing but love and compassion. On nights when you feel like it’s hard to breathe, I’d spend the night soothing you down. Even if it meant losing sleep, even if it meant deteriorating my health little by little. I stayed by you, because I also once knew what it felt like to go unnoticed. On moments when it felt like everything was heavy and I got overwhelmed, you were there. You were the sole person who knew the right words to say and how to lift me up. I thought I’d go through the battle alone, but you showed up with a shield in your hand. I still remember the amount of common interest we shared, from favorite artists to shows. I used to go on for hours ranting about my favorite character without stopping and checking to see if you were listening, and you were—you were looking at me like my words deserved to be put on scripture. Yet now? I can't bear to listen to the same artist we liked, nor can I stand any kind of merchandise your favorite anime had. Everything reminded me of you, I isolated myself in fear. I still have the stuff you gifted me awhile back, though, I can't stand to look at them without tearing up. I’d like to think that someday we’re both successful adults travelling the world together. Crazy, right? But I also like to think that I haunt your ‘narrative’ beautifully, like you do as mine. While I was lying down, a song played: Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers. If it were 3 years ago, I would've sang along. But now? All I could think was you. How if I could've just waited 1 more hour to fix this, would it all be different? But I know it's for the better. Then, another song played: Dorothea by Taylor Swift. A song we both knew by heart. At first, I thought nothing of it, but as seconds passed by, my thoughts circled back to you. I took pride that I never dedicated such song to someone, yet when you left, it was hard to ignore that every lyric reminded me of you. I can now only watch you go on about your life through screen, not through late-night calls and video messages anymore. When we went on with our lives, everything came crushing down all at once. Every song reminded me of you—yes, even songs that are about romantic breakups because you were more than a friend to me. Something they call a “platonic soulmate”. I’d like to think that we outgrew each other, but we both know that's not the case. Life has its challenges and works, and we were too young to know how to handle it all properly. I won't point fingers, maybe no one was at the wrong—maybe we both were. But one thing's for sure, I’ll sure miss you like hell. I wanted to contact you, to ask you how you're holding up, but I know you need this distance to find yourself. So if you are reading this, I hope everything works out the way you have always wanted. Enter doors that grants you opportunities, study well, and I hope you make friends that matter more than life itself. I hope you start to forget my name—because in that way, I can only be certain that you'll move on from your past turmoil and live the way you've always wanted: light, free, and all. You’ll always be my platonic soulmate, my #1 cheerleader, my confidant, my beck and call, and the one I’ll cherish above all. When I’m all old and gray, my grandchildren will surely know about you. I hope you move on and keep growing and bloom as a person, I promise I won't contact you anymore.