I take pride that I don't need anyone.
Weakness disgusts me, opening up isn't my forte, and standing in solitude brings me peace. No one can disrupt that.
No one gets to know the inner me and they don't deserve to. I leave before things escalate and I never look back, you can contact me but don't expect everything to stay the same.
I’ll leave if I have to, it's what I do best and what I do worst.
I've been called strong and been called selfish, I like to believe the former.
Independency has long been instilled in me, my bedroom has become my own sanctuary. I don't need anyone to do the work for me and I will never ask to, It's just who I am.
People around me tell me that I’m ‘independent and reliable’.
I want to believe that too.
I don't rely on anyone, yet they do with me. I'm their strong person, the one who carries it all and is expected to bury them once business is finished. I try to mask it all with a smile, pretending that I'm still tough to shoulder it all, but what if that facade breaks?
“You're a strong kid, you can take it.” Am I? Can I?
Am I a strong person by nature? Or is it because I have no one else to rely on?
My friends have other friends, my parents are too busy to be disturbed, and I don't bother ringing other people anymore.
Everything feels heavy, I want to let it all out but who would be there to listen to my sorrows and pain? Is showing vulnerability such a deadly sin?
I won't cry.
I'll never cry.
Strong people don't cry.
Don't shed a tear.
What an awful mantra.
In truth: I'm not strong, I just bottle everything up, waiting to be let out at any given moment. No one even listens and no one dared to help.
I refuse to be seen as weak, in fear of being targeted.
I don't want to be known as a sensitive person, they'll leave once they do.
Nonchalance overruled my nature of loving, because I’ve been taken advantage of over and over again.
Crying for help won't get me the support I need, they'll just watch as my tears flood the room and my throat gets clogged.
My worth is tied to being strong and flawless, if I show any kind of weakness, I’ll be seen as a failure.
I've been embraced by coldness and have grown immune to it, it cursed me with independence and loneliness, a front for yearning to be held with warm hands and a hearty laugh. Where I'm seen and I can be vulnerable without them expecting anything in return.
For once in my life, let me break down—even for just a bit. For I am also powerless, weak, and in need of someone's humanity as being strong is also admitting that you're in need of help and sympathy.
I don't want to be known as someone who is strong as an angry, emotionless, and detached person who isn't in need of camaraderie.
But of someone that is strong as light and one who doesn't reject comfort in fear of breaking my ego.
I am strong.
No, not the one who sees emotions as weakness.
I am strong.
Yes, the one who embraces individuality and sees emotions as proof of being human.
I am strong.
I will be strong.
Maybe one day, I'll learn how to actually become someone strong.
