I wonder when was the very first time you decided to become a mother.
Was it the day that you found the love of your life? Was it the moment that you felt content enough to start a family?
Or was it the moment you first held an infant in your arms and thought, maybe that could be me?
Did you perhaps feel overjoyed when you heard its first sigh, its first cry, and even its first giggle?
Motherhood is a complex endeavor. I know for a fact that not all children in this world are in good relationships with their mothers, parents even.
But you... You took this path with a firm choice of bearing its weight, no matter how painful it is. You took this path knowing that it will leave you a scar, both physically and emotionally.
No 'buts.’ No 'could've's.’ Just the mere genuineness of bringing me into this world.
Being born into existence was full of mysteries. Growing up, I had to navigate the reasons why God chose me to walk this earth.
That was until I turned to the right age and realized my purpose. One of those is to look back at my mirror—and that mirror is you.
In you, I saw bits of myself. Fragments of my entirety that sums up who I am as a person.
Your eyes that viewed the world with kindness.
Your heart that loved unconditionally.
Your gentle touch that protected and took care of me.
In you, I have found familiarity with myself, knowing that it's you where I came from. Knowing that it's you I'm tethered to.
And I might not talk about this a lot with you. I might not be that expressive child that you expected me to.
But do know that there's always this place in my heart built for you—a home. And it's there because your tender and nourishing love established it all.
Do know that I appreciate you, but only in silence. Because it's the loudest act of love that I can give so far.
And do know that I love you, not just a lot. But also forever.
