Sometimes, I am awake and unmoving, unable to grasp the reality that has consumed my entire existence. Sometimes, I feel thousands of pairs of eyes gawking at me—making me a prey under their scrutiny.
And that is why I keep putting up a façade, over and over again. Sometimes, I feel a god mocking me like a fool, as if I were his puppet. But maybe I am. Maybe I have always been his puppet. Every day, I juggle responsibilities I do not even enjoy most of the time. Sometimes, I am a student, thirsting for academic validation. Sometimes, a dreamer who values life more than anything. But most of the time, I am a survivor—trying to outrun death itself.
It is a kind of curse that slowly festers on my skin. It gnaws at the deepest part of my core, where I buried the existence of my sorrows. Every day that I breathe, I wear a different kind of skin and make it my own, just so I have a role to play.
I act as if a god is watching me intently. I perform as if there are invisible eyes in the dark, preying on my every move. I act because I am useless if I have nothing to show the world—even if the seats are empty, the theatre is dark, and a god is mocking me from his throne.
No one would dare praise someone who has nothing—not even a penny to their name. No one would offer a prayer for someone who has no role to play.
In this world, everyone is required to act, even when darkness looms overhead. Everyone must be an actress or an actor. Everyone must deliver a spectacular performance—even if it is nothing more than a façade, a shallow truth. Because of this, we wear a second skin and claim it as our own. Eventually, it becomes us.
The seats are empty. The theatre is dark. And yet, here I am under the spotlight—performing a role that is not mine. Sometimes, I am awake and unmoving, still wearing another layer of skin. But most of the time, I am an actor in the eyes of a god—a survivor when no one dares to look my way, even when the truth finally spills out.
And maybe this is all we ever needed to learn: we keep acting because if we stop, we will be left in the dark with no applause.
