“Saan ka ba mag-aaral Sam? Mag-e-engineering ka ba tulad ng kuya mo?” Nanay Sherley shoves a handful of fried rice and stuffs it into Sam’s plate. She hands over some chicken adobo and pushes him to eat, adding a “Masarap yan!” remark before she digs in her own plate.

Sam stays still at the dining table, staring at the plate with an aloof expression on his face. I look at him pitifully, wondering if I was wrong in showing him English cartoons from the Ipad 8 I bought him for his 13th birthday. Terrence stifles a laugh, as if waiting for the right moment to sneak in a lousy joke. I stare at him and he goes back to eating his adobo quietly.

“Ano ba ‘yan, Jerick, tinuturuan mo ba ‘yan mag-Tagalog? Puro Inglis kasi pinapanood mo. Dapat pinakita mo Voltes V!” Tatay Jerald says, taking the bowl from Nanay Sherley and places fried rice on his plate.

Sam carefully holds his spoon and fork, struggling to cut the chicken in half.

“Magkamay ka kasi!” Lena sighs in frustration. She eventually takes the chicken from his hands and skins the chicken for him instead.

Terrence looks at the two and shrugs, gulping a glass of water before announcing, “Ma, Pa, hingi pala ako ng 3k, nag-aayos na kami para sa graduation rites.”

“Ang mahal naman niyan Terrence, ‘di ba yan kasama sa scholarship?” I ask. Terrence shakes his head, replying that the guidelines on his student handbook where it specifically did not cover those fees. I heave a sigh. When did graduation fees become this expensive? Last time I checked, it was at P500. My attention suddenly shifts when Sam leaves the dining table immediately—leftover chicken and rice sitting poorly on his plate. Terrence gratefully pours it on his own plate.

“Jerick, kinakausap mo ba ‘yang anak mo? Kulob na kulob sa kwarto, ‘di man lang lumalabas para magmano.” Nanay Sherley comments, a hint of dismay on her tone. “Sobrang lihim ng galawan, ‘kala mo magnanakaw.”

Tatay Jerald adds, “Magugulat ka na lang nasa kusina ng madaling araw kumukuha ng gunting sa cabinet.” He chews on his food, “Ano ba ginagawa niya sa kwarto?”

Terrence laughs, “Nanonood ng bold.”

I silenced him. Jusmeyo, I did not raise him to speak that way.

The two elders finish their plates and go outside to bathe in the sunlight. I waved at Nanay Sherley who was sitting on her rocking chair before heading to the sari-sari store and buying the list Lena gave me: noodles, tomato sauce, cheese, pepper, and salt. She said she wanted to prepare a nice meal for Sam’s birthday, which was a pleasant surprise.

I catch up to Tatay Jerald walking along the empty street of our neighborhood. It was always peaceful in this specific area—not too many children playing in the middle of the road or a group of marites searching for people to judge. The older man pauses and holds my arm. “Jerick, itago mo ‘yang mga damit ni Sam. Pambabae dating eh. Kaka-Youtube niya ‘yan.”

“Pa’nong pambabae, Tay? Sando at short nga lang suot niya halos.”

“Basta, makinig ka sa’kin. Baka mamaya ikaw pa maka-impluwensiya sa kanya.”

I look at him, startled by his statement. It has been decades since that incident happened, but it appears that I’m still his subject of disappointment.

“Sa’yo lang si Lena, hindi ‘yang bruha sa eskinita.”

I nod and leave him be before I turn the conversation into an argument. I immediately notice the shade of the sari-sari store and see Ate Glen carrying cases of bottled soft drinks inside her house. I shout and wave at her and she smiles at me cheekily.

“Teka lang, Jek. Nag-iimbak ako rito. Akin na listahan mo,” she grabs the paper from me and reads it before pushing it inside her pockets, “Sino may birthday?”

I laugh, “Si Sam. Yung bunso.”

“Ah, yung pipe. Bigyan ko nga ng regalo. Ano ba gusto niya?”

“Kahit ano naman, hindi naman siya maselan sa regalo.”

“Malay mo, paporma-porma siya ‘pag umaalis eh.”

No. He wouldn’t. I would forbid him to act like that.

“Notebook lang, mahilig mag-drawing ‘yon.”

Ate Glen nods.

"Beshie makikita ko na ‘yun jowabells ko, forda kaba na ang accla!"

"Huy! ‘Wag OA, baka matigok ka. Prom lang yan! Gandara ang atake mo teh, mapapa- Shantay You Stay si Mama Pao!”

"Kaso sis, pa’no kung lalaitin ako ng mga tao doon? Nakakaloka andaming chika, 'ka lechugas."

"Sus! Ang chachaka nila—pwede na maging endorser ng panlaba. Bahala sila riyan, go with the flow ka na lang, be the queen you are, GANERN!

A plastic bag gets wrapped around my hands and Ate Glen snaps her fingers in front of me.

“Huy, tulala ka nanaman. Bumalik ka na nga kina Lena.”

I nod quietly and thank her before going back to the house. Opening the door, I head over to the kitchen and leave the plastic bag on the table. I’m assuming Max headed out again—Terrence is probably working on his thesis, and Lena might be doing the laundry. Tatay Jerald’s words scrape around my head, urging me to visit Sam’s room. My feet carry themselves to his room, a plastered KEEP OUT sign dangling at the doorstep. I hold my breath and unlock the door with the spare key I carry for all of the rooms.

My eyes scan over the mess, some I recognize, some that look untouched; scattered clothes that belonged to Nanay Sherley, Lena’s dresses from her early 20s, Terrence’s basketball uniforms, my polo shirts from my previous job, on-sale shirts from Uniqlo, and a handful of sewing tools with a sewing equipment beside it. My hands quickly worked to hide the items. Placing the clothes and tools in dusty boxes, I swiftly move in and out of the room while carrying a suspicious amount of carton. I throw away some pieces of envelopes, and all that remains is Sam’s storage case. Despite almost getting rid of everything, I set the case on top of his desk. Finally, his room is a breath of fresh air. The clutter has been removed, and my mind eases itself—

Not until Sam comes back a few hours later and knocks aggressively on Terrence’s door.

“Give me back my stuff!” he screams.

“Tanga ka ba? Hindi nga ako pumapasok sa kwarto mo!” Terrence shouts back.

Sam thrashes around his room until Nanay Sherley rushes to the hallway and finds her grandson wailing at the disappearance of everything he’s ever owned. She captures him in a tight embrace, ignoring the thuds from Sam’s weak punches. “Hayaan mo na ‘nak. Bibilhan kita ng ibang laruan. Gusto mo ba Hotwheels? Nerf?”

“Hindi ako bata!” he pushes her away, “Saan? Saan?!”

I watch from a distance, sitting uncomfortably in the living room while the TV obnoxiously plays a telenovela in the background. Tatay Jerald glances at me, pats my shoulder, and continues to watch—unbothered with whatever was happening in the hallway.

“Wala kang respeto, ha!” Nanay Shirley pinches his ear and drags him inside his room. The voices muffle, but I can still hear the argument happening. I glance to my right and see Tatay Jerald taking a sip from his Coke kasalo. “Alam mo, Jerick, biyaya ng Diyos na nagkaanak kayo ni Lena, pero sana naman tinuruan mo ng magandang asal. Ayan tuloy, sinesermon ni Sherley.”

“Jerick, ano ba. Naglolokohan ba tayo?”

“Lena, hindi kita mahal. Never kitang minahal.”

“Edi sino? Siya? Na puro lakwatsa? Nag-aaral ako sa MedTech para masilbihan kita!”

“Wala naman akong sinabi na mag-MedTech ka. Lubayan mo na kami.”

“Balang araw, mapapasa ‘kin ka rin.”

My head hurts. “Tay naman, tao pa rin si Sam. ‘Wag mo na pilitin kung ayaw niya.”

“Tignan mo, sa’yo rin pinagmanahan yung tigas ng ulo. Awatin mo na nga sina Sherley at Sam. Mahihighblood din ako sa’yo eh.”

I sigh and stand up from the couch. I walk towards Sam’s door as Nanay Shirley passes by. Her gaze sharpens at me and I shudder. As I hear the cries grow louder, I slowly creak the door open and see Lena comforting our youngest son, wiping his tears with a white towel and fixing his hair. I give her a small signal before she nods and stands up. Sam runs up to me and wraps his arms around my chest as soon as Lena leaves. His tears immediately stain my shirt and I awkwardly convince him to stop crying.

“Tama na, Sam. Andyan lang ‘yan.”

“Why do they hate me, Dad?”

I gulp.

“I don’t know.”

The guilt crawls behind me, whispering and telling me to bring back his sewing equipment. I ignore my conscience, hoping that Sam apologizes to Nanay Shirley tomorrow and forget that any of this happened. I tell Sam to wipe his tears and fix his bed, which became messier after I cleaned it a few hours ago. I watch as my son does as he’s told, prompting the pillows beside the headboard and covering himself with a blanket. The small light from the phone screen illuminates from the blanket, and once I’m sure he’s done from his tantrum, I turn around and close his door.

The next day approaches quickly—yet I see no Sam on the dining table.

“Jerick, nasaan si Sam? Wala siya sa kwarto niya.” Lena confronts me as if I was behind Sam’s rebellion.

“Baka sa kaibigan niya. Huminga ng onti, alam mo naman yung nangyari kahapon.”

At the corner of my eye, Terrence appears from the hallway and greets me and Lena before settling down on the dining table. He smiles, “Pa, salamat pala sa 3k. Kumatok ka sana, kinuha ko lang sa lapag.”

I frown. I don’t remember giving him three thousand. My pay is not until tomorrow. “Wala akong binigay. Baka galing sa nanay mo.”

Lena gives me a look. “Nako, ‘di pa ‘ko sumasahod. Baka biyaya ng Diyos?”

I think for a moment until the realization suddenly hits me. I rush to Sam’s room and find the storage case unlocked, but there’s nothing inside. I blink, placing a hand over my head in annoyance.

So that’s what it was.

I go back to the kitchen and see the four of them staring at me in confusion.

“O? Ba’t ka napatakbo sa kwarto ni Sam?” Lena asks.

“Yung 3k. Galing kay Sam.”

“Huh?” They say in unison.

The Frontman